Makes weird choices

What I want is an app which, when faced with all the contacts in my phone from all (or a selectable subset of) sources, will
1) merge identical entries allowing all (selected) sources to access them.

2) Alert me to *nearly* identical entries and iff I approve the merge, keep ALL, and I repeat, ALL of the unique data (notes, nicknames, relationships) and save ONE copy of the duplicated data. This should likewise then be made available to all (selected) sources.

2a). Realize that 3 entries for "melissa" might be 3 different people. When asking to merge, *show* *me* the *content* of the contacts so I can decide whether to merge them.
2b) When contacts are merged and there are multiple silliest elements (each has a "main" phone number), let me pick the main number, or default "main1" to the most recently used one.

3) Unique contacts should be KEPT, unaltered, but made available to all (selected) sources.

4) allow multiple contacts to share information. Often, two or more people have the same phone number (duh!). FTLOG, Let me keep their names as separate contacts!

This app kinda does number one, sort of does number 2, makes it tricky to do 2a, doesnt do 2b, and for 3, randomly deleted a bunch of my unique contacts. Why they deleted one vet and not the other, I dont know - they didnt get merged. Im still stumbling over weird #4 errors - my boss and her husband are now listed under his name, for instance, when I specifically asked not to merge them.

I need a product like this (this is my third try and narrowly better than the 2nd best) because when I sync my phone, it randomly duplicates contacts, so I get a lot of identical contacts listed 3-4 times. Ideally, the iPhone would just see those identical copies and know them for identical copies, but no. Then, it doesnt ask me if I want to share contacts between sources. I must go thru a mostly helpful but definitely flawed app like this to come close to having a functional contact list. But Im annoyed enough by finding odd info missing here and there to knock it from 4 stars (pretty good but instructions/--action too opaque to predict results accurately) to 3 (mostly got rid of dupes but threw out some babies with the bath water).

CrankyOtter about PhoneBook CleanMaster